The Dork Hatch

Don't ever buy boxers from, well since it's kinda low-ball to directly trash talk somebody's business, we'll call this store "Mal-Wart". Anyway, I rocked on up to Mal-Wart to buy myself some masculine undergarments, like all dudes need to do from time to time. By and by. Found a super deal on these boxers that came out to like less than $1 a piece. And it was a brand name! You gotta treat the boys well, i say, so I don't mind getting the brand name if it doesn't drain my wallet faster than a bangkok hooker on Friday night. (Note: I've never been to Bangkok). And at less than $1 a piece, well i'm no mathematician, but I think I know a good value, especially when it comes to my crotch. So I got home, slipped into a fresh new pair, and go on with my day. Guess what? The fly hole on this boxer, and the rest of them, were like designed for xxxl garments. I could probably back my car into the flies on these things. Absolutely no protection. Absolutetly not acceptable. So how did I fix them? Staples. It was the only way. I'd attach a pic as proof, but the staples are too small for my piece of crap digi cam to even register that it's only a staple preventing the dork from untimely cameo apprearances.