Me Gusta Sleep!

These last 5 weeks, I haven't had a single full night sleep for one reason or another. Stress, work, drinking, Cat issues, crap like that. Like, if we're friends, then how come we were fighting for a month? Do friends do that? Most of my friends, IF we fight, it'll be for like 15 minutes. If we're friends, then how can we so easily hurt each other? Are friendships supposed to take this much work? And if she is my friend, then why did she do what she did to me? Then last week, after coming home from a straight month of being on the road for trade shows, I got word that Automaton's Korean distributor's sample shipment of 07 boards got lost somewhere in Europe due to shipper error. WTF? So I had to sort out the situation, split our US sample inventory, and ship them off somewhere via certified freight, while a barrage of emails coming from austria, the usa, and korea at all hours were keeping me on top of the situation. Maximum stress! Last night, though, went to bed at 9pm, got 10 hours of sleep, and only woke up once. I'm wondering if I was just really tired or depressed. Probably a bit of both. Lots of introspection and reevaluation going on in '06 for this guy. I notice that I've been more passive lately, I've been doing a lot of laying down, listening to music. My room is a total mess. So is the warehouse. I definetly think that I'm thinking differently than before. I don't know if this comes out in my behavior. Maybe it does. One thing I love about snowboarding is that the riding level increases with emotions, and you can totally see it. I usually say exactly what I mean, but I've been talking a lot of nonsense lately. "I miss your attention" came out as "I want you to be my girlfriend". That makes no sense, and wasn't what I meant. And I've been acting on my emotions a lot lately. Which is good 'cause now I have the backside 3's on lock down again. But maybe I've been acting like this the whole time. Starting Automaton was an emotional response to the snowboard industry and culture. It was definetly not a rational decision. As a snowboarder, I was pissed that there weren't more companies that reflect the values that make snowboarding awesome, and there weren't many brands that made me excited or truly reflected our culture. I dunno, maybe my input and output are totally different, and always have been. Take the Automaton logo for example. It's a dead flower. But I don't see it. I mean, I designed it. But to me, it's not just a dead flower. It's a self portrait.