When Cougars Attack

I seriously thought I wouldn't ever cross paths with one. I was wrong. This is my story of survival. Was at a bar with Bill and Lori. This is already weird because I don't like going to bars. Too many douchebags. Anyway, I noticed an older and very drunk woman yet fairly attractive (in her day) chatting up with some dude at the bar. Whatever. The three of us were talking in our group. All of a sudden, I could see Lori's face put on a look of immediate concern. She started to signal me to not turn my head. Being oblivious to signs, I looked to my left to see the cougar not just standing there, but standing IN OUR GROUP as if she was part of the convo! And she was totally up in my grill! Personal space means nothing to cougars. She started chatting to me, I was over it. I mean, I'm not a picky dude. Usually a skirt and pulse fulfill my requirements. But this coug had some anos on her. Muchos anos. And she was very drunk. To most dudes, this would be all signs go. To me, this was prime time to pull the ejection seat and bail. But this chick would NOT leave me alone! Dunno what happened next, Jameson will do that to a dude. Thank the powers that be that I woke up solo. Very happy about that, in retrospect. Cougars are no laughing matter. I have no pic, so take in the revamped Automaton logo.